When I was a young boy in Japan I realised that I was uneasy to communicate via spoken language. I decided to become an artist, so I didn’t need to communicate with other people in spoken word.

When I moved to London I studied Fine Art at Middlesex University. At that time there was a strong ideology called conceptual art. So most art students rejected the use of a paintbrush. Everybody was following conceptualism – so I did too, unfortunately. I went to New York Art College as part of a student exchange scheme and discovered that the teaching there was very traditional. I was so disappointed that I left and returned to Middlesex University.

What is art, I asked myself, what is the meaning of art? Then I went to Chelsea College of Fine Art in London. Again I was badly disappointed because the teaching was very focused on conceptualism. So I decided to open an experimental art gallery, to observe other artists. But I couldn’t get an answer to my question “What is art?” because most of the artists were unthinking about what they were doing.

So when I was given an opportunity to study art history at Edinburgh University, I took it. After completing my MSc I started on a PhD to find out what is art, the meaning of art. I realised that I was beginning to understand more about art. I wrote my PhD thesis and had to have a viva exam with an external art professor. But I soon discovered that his view of art was so different to mine. He asked me to rewrite some of my thesis to suit his opinion about art. I refused to rewrite my thesis for him and left the PhD course.

What I finally learnt was that everybody has a different appreciation and opinion about art, like blind people touching different parts of an elephant’s body and declaring it is warm to the touch, smooth, rough, hard, etc. Each person is telling the truth but without understanding the elephant as a whole.

Now I can paint without following a tradition or ideology. Simply enjoying to paint. I finally feel settled and peaceful as an artist.

Haruo Mafuji